Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Brother-Man / Sister-Baby Comedy Hour ...

Two jokes my kids recently told me:

From Bro'-Man:
Three men arrive at the Pearly Gates and are standing before St. Peter. "I am afraid that heaven is beginning to get very crowded," Peter said to the three. "We are now restricting entrance through these gates to those who died the worst possible deaths. The first man steps forward. "I suspected my girlfriend of seeing another man, so one day I paid her a surprise visit to her twenty-fifth floor apartment. Much to my dismay, I find a man hanging from her balcony. I was so filled with rage and despair that I took a hammer and began to beat on the fellows fingers until he loosed his grip. He fell to the ground but landed in a bush and was relatively unhurt. Well, I was still seeing red. I went back into the apartment grabbed the refrigerator and as the cad was brushing himself off I dropped the fridge on him crushing him to death. The stress of the whole thing was too much for me and I had a massive heart attack and died."

"That's pretty horrible," Peter said, "I guess you can come in."

The second man stepped forward. "I am a health conscious man, Peter," he began. "I was exercising on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment. I got a little carried away and before I new it, I had flipped over the rail. Somehow I managed to grab onto the rail of the balcony below mine but then all of a sudden this raging maniac hits me with a hammer. I fell, my life flashing before my eyes. Then another spot of luck -- I landed in this particularly soft shrub. Because of the bush and my fantastic physical condition I survived the fall with only minimal injuries. I was dusting myself off, looking up, counting my lucky stars when suddenly a refrigerator fell from the sky and that was the end of me!"


"Now that is the worse on I've heard all day," Peter said. "Dude, you are totally in!" Then, turning to the third fellow, Peter said, "I hope you have a good story."


"I do," said the third man. "You see, I was hiding in this refrigerator ...."


And this one is from Sister Baby:




"Why did the chicken cross the playground ..
...to get to the other slide!!


Ba-dum-BUM!!!

5 comments:

VallyP said...

Oh Brilliant, Van, I really loved both of these jokes! Excellent! I'll have to tell you my favourite joke about the penguin.....;-)

~VanO~ said...

Do tell, Val ...

VallyP said...

Haha, I've already passed on the laughter of your jokes to two other people...anyway, the penguin joke? You really want to hear it?

Okay.

A man comes out of his house one day and sees a penguin walking up and down on the pavement in front of his doorway. Looking around, he sees no one else, so he takes the penguin by the wing and starts off down the road. Just then he sees a policeman, so he stops the officer and asks him what he thinks he ought to do with the penguin. The policman scratches his chin a moment and then says "If I were you, I'd take it to the zoo." "Good idea," says the man "Thank you very much officer!" And off he goes with the penguin in tow.

The next day, the policeman is walking his beat again and sees the same man and he still has the penguin. "Oy," the copper says to the man. "I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo." "Yes, you did," says the man, smiling happily."And it was great, thank you! So today we're going to the movies..."


Okay, now you can GROAN!!!!

~VanO~ said...

Ha ... nice one, Val! :)

VallyP said...

Haha...I know it's really corny but it's just my favourite joke ever! Thanks for coming to visit my humble blog. I love my watery life, so I hope you enjoy your visits to my world ;-)