sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground ...

I'm going to put my religious thoughts under this heading ... just because that's the way I feel about my faith these days. I haven't given up on trying to put the thing back together but it is a far sight from reassembled!

The title is from the James Taylor song Fire and Rain which has a better spiritual lyric than a lot of spiritual music I've heard. Well, maybe not better but certainly very indicative of my current state of mind ... and it sets a tone for these postings:

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus,
You gotta help me make a stand.
You just got to see me through another day.
My body's achin' and my time is at hand --
I won't make it any other way.

It communicates so well the kind of poverty of spirit I think is so essential {and sadly so lacking} in the religious parlance of the day. I know it's been lacking in mine. I used to think that believers and non-believers stood on the same ground ... that we were all spiritual beggars and the only difference was that I, as a believer, knew where the bread was. Wouldn't even go that far now ... I'm searching -- frequently hopeful, occasionally ardent, open-minded most of the time and jaded at others-- but, still, searching.

So ... after twenty-four years of church-attending, Bible-reading Christianity I am still a beggar. And the bread ain't where I thought it was so the search continues.

{So, can a brother get a few crumbs, Lord?}